No, 35 children are more than enough!
– No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.
– Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes annual free trip around the Sun.
– Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep.
– Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours!
– God made relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends!
– Can you do anything that other people can’t? Sure, I can read my handwriting!
– A drunk was hauled into court. “Mister,” the judge began, “you’ve been brought here for drinking.” “Great,” the drunk exclaimed, “When do we get started?”
– Whom are you working for? Same people. My wife and four kids.
– I heard you have a cat that can say her own name. Yes, Meow.
– Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different.
– When a wife was asked, “What book do you like best?” she answers: “My husband’s cheque book.”
– Girlfriend: “And are you sure you love me and none else?” Boyfriend: “Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.”
– Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
– My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
– Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love!
– Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No, sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
– Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much, Dad, just a radio with a sports car around it!
TOILET OUT OF ORDER…… PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE , BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)