Hilarious Keep Smiling

– Should women have children after 35?
      No, 35 children are more than enough!

– No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

– Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes annual free trip around the Sun. 

– Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep.

– Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours!

– God made relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends! 

– Can you do anything that other people can’t? Sure, I can read my handwriting!

– A drunk was hauled into court. “Mister,” the judge began, “you’ve been brought here for drinking.” “Great,” the drunk exclaimed, “When do we get started?” 

– Whom are you working for? Same people. My wife and four kids.

– I heard you have a cat that can say her own name. Yes, Meow.

– Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different. 

– When a wife was asked, “What book do you like best?” she answers: “My husband’s cheque book.”

– Girlfriend: “And are you sure you love me and none else?” Boyfriend: “Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.” 

– Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
      Customer: What other colors do you have?

– My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

– Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
      Student: Brotherly love!

– Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
      Sam : No, sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

– Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
      Son : Not much, Dad, just a radio with a sports car around it!

 

 
 
 
Did I read the sign right?
 
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER…… PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE , BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)

15 thoughts on “Hilarious Keep Smiling

  1. sunny

    veeru, I thought this was going to be a serious blog so I fixed my lunch, a cup of soup and crackers. Then began to read. Now I have soup all over my computer screen. I have laughed so much. Your blog post has floored me!. Oh man you should have posted a warning sign. This is absolutely hilarious! Thanks the good laugh. -sunny

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