Something happened and I burst. May be that was there all the while in my heartr not wanting to hurt somebody who is doing a lot to people he doesnt even kno. So Here goes the story.
My boss was in the USA and he pretty well works for the betterment of people, Human rights and history. Rare combination I know but thats how it is. He left to the USA for fund raising and earlier when I visited his place his wife and I had a strong conversation (a lovely lady but..) and I was hurt more than expected. The financial dealings for some reason went out of proportion in her voice and I feared if that would affect our relationship as well as her health (she has a very fragile health). I went totally dumb (made it felt like that atleast) in fear of her health.
But when I came back I had a very bad feeling about myself my boss and his wife. So I thought may be it better we seperate our ways in work. Then came the most crucial thing that left me hurt. I had designed the website, and all means of online presence for my boss including putting all his works on a blog and social media. Somebody else was given charge and everything was scrapped. The website and the blog everything. It felt so bad i slowly started to withdraw out of the sphere. The fellow who actually was given charge became so posessive that he rejected to share the previlige of editing the content.
My boss went silent entertaining him. I said quits after waiting for a while and not able to get a word from him as well as my Honorarium. I thought its a way of showing the door buddy. I simply left delhi for hyderabad and to prepare started for a break. Meanwhile the remaining research was affected and I let it go.
Today when my boss messaged me about the research work pending I got wild and went out of control. Wrote a strong mail that might have hurt him, I couldnt help but do it. Two months in Delhi with no source of income made me go mad, helpless and bizzar.